What about to stay home and don’t leave these few painted walls covered with photos anymore?
Yes, that is a long title, but who care :D
Is already few days that walking on the street or in symantec, I look at people and I think are someone else.
Happened with Marion (image my face thinking about you in symantec, in the canteen :O) with a cousin of mine that is actually leaving in California, with any chance for him to come here and the most to DRIVE in the middle of o’connel street.
Happened with my brother that is now leaving in brussels. Well, Brussels is closer than California but I think my brother would tell me if he arrive here no? :D
Happened with Annu, close to the Trinity college and few others. happen at least once a day.
Is probably a sign of something or I need to take some medicines Doc?
And here we are again, xmas already fucking gone thanks Christ, close to the end of the year. And as usual, is kinda time to start to check what’s happened this year, to see if the system is running in a normal way, or there is any.. any.. malicious load points.
I discovered that load points are very important to see if there is an infection on a system. They start with the O.S. and there is a score in every process. high score, no problem. low score.. you are probably fucked up.
This year, has been full of changes. to use the same example of an old post done in the beginning of the year I think that the kernel has been recompiled, is up and running and after long discussion with developers and designer.. there is not a real reason to replace the missing part that caused the major kernel panic error last year.
Still full of bug, crash once in a while but the solution is not to restore a new kernel module like that one.
You can always have a Major Pach or custom release that are fixing the system, is not really needed to operate at kernel level.
Kernel will stay in this way, so no major kernel panic error should arise in the future. Best solution ever no?
but let’s go in order. Let’s follow the order of the last message of Katha.: Work? Living? Love?
Work? In Hp was another life, But there is nothing that I can’ t do, I need just time. I take this occasion to be gratefully to Madame M. and the really few other that kept supporting me in the worst moments giving me strength, kisses and hugs. To listen my bullshit billion times -yes I know I repeat always the same things, I’m trying to find a cure for that- ah, Madame M. is always a nice thing to buy you pastries and to eat them together drinking that strange Elfic infuse you have home.
To work for a security company give you a totally different point of view about the IT environment. Problem are bigger because the environments are different and to talk with people that has years and years of experience, sys admin, network administrator is quite challenging.. but is cool. every minute I spent in that company, my technical knowledge and my experience to deal with people increase a lot. so, not bad overall.
Living?
can’t complain. got a nice flat close to st. stephen green . I share it with a french girl, she is nice and kind.
I miss Fly and our long chats. I miss the fact that she doesn’t probably want to keep my secrets with her anymore. or probably she just grown up. Or probably I really still too kid inside, and I should quit. Or she is just in love.
But I’m happy to know her happy, in love, enjoying every mile to go, and every mile to come back in wherever place the life bring her.
you have been probably the best soul mate of my life.
Met few people that taught me lot of things about life. how to enjoy things, how to try to find happiness in all the things you do or you see. If I need to give a name well, the firts in row is E. She is the kind of person that can make a men doing wherever she like. She know how to abuse of her power, no secret about that. True master of life. Well, A. as well was like that but at least she live very far now so.. I’m kinda safe.
Been in Spain to visit Vanesa and attended the campus party. I will never be grateful to Vanesa to be an amazing host. has been like to be home.
Met Jon All aka Maddog and received from him 2 polo shirt of linux international
Been in Germany to meet Hannibal and S. and discover that sometimes life is less bitch and even the impossible can magically happen giving yourself some little spaces to still have hope. Always be careful about what can happen to yourself when you are with someone in a very small place to share.
The best war ever can start, and after.. you can’t stop to fight till someone surrender with a sigh with relief. and when finish, you can’t wait to start again.
I got 3 new cameras, a polaroid, a very old Lomo that take 120mm film and the yashica of my dad with an amazing 1.9 50mm lens perfect for portraits :)
I can add photos of them here but I can do it when I came back home :)
another year is close to finish, and again, I can’t say that the balance is really that bad, overall.
Got a new job in a security company, a big one like Symantec can be.
My wage increased again, I got a better flat, some new friends -specially french- lost few of the old one, missed few nice occasion that I will regret but.. there will be time to recover probably.
Lot of things happened to me, to the people around me.. but we still here, fighting and kicking.
Never give up fuckers, I miss every single one of you for a reason or another.
Cool to know someone still read my shit here on this pages.
Have a nice one kids, see you soon.
Maybe I should think more and act less.
To act hurt.
Hugs have power to heal people, not medicines.
An hug can make you fly, warm up, happy, can shock you, can make you to fall in a black hole, can give you strength, can heal you better than wherever chemical medicine.
Can make you fall in love, can let understand everything about a person. few seconds of.. pure pleasure.
really. the feeling is amazing. I read once that after 5 minutes of hug with someone, the brainwaves of the 2 persons are starting to go to the same frequency.
All should have 5 minutes a day of hugs.
I would like to have an hug party. and yes, I really miss to hug few of you guys.
Hugs,
“Love is a form of prejudice. You love what you need, you love what makes you feel good, you love what is convenient. How can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them? But you’ll never meet them.
All right, so we do the best we can.
Granted. But we must still realize that love is just the result of a chance encounter. Most people make too much of it. On these grounds a good fuck is not to be entirely scorned.
But that’s the result of a chance meeting too.
You’re damned right. Drink up. We’ll have another. “
Fear, not hate is opposite of love.
On a wall of Dublin.
today, before the shower I removed as usual my leather bracelet.
I have it from more then 4 years or so. was completely blank when I bought and I carved on it the sentence “Non amare mai” that in english sound like “Never love”.
I saw that sentence on a photo of a little small corridor in the metro of Berlin. Hannibal shown me that, do you remember bro? was written with some chalk, in italian, in the middle of the corridor. Like a punch in your stomach; image to open a door and find a sentence like this straight in front you eyes.
Well, I was removing it from my arm and.. strap, the leather broke.
I should consider it like a sign of something? should I try to understand something?
I feel that is a bit early to start to love again-If I will ever start again btw -, to give yourself to someone to make appear a smile on a face.
Thanks life to make things always more complicated and never easier.
Had a looong night on saturday.
Couple of bottle of wine, couple of friends and a sort of analysis about myself.
Turned out that all is about decisions.
U can’t have all, at some point you gonna leave someone out of your life.
Out to Brussels tomorrow, going to visit Mr. P.
and probably I gonna bring that drink with a duck on it to Marion, if u read this, send me your address and in case I will try to do my best to post it to you :D
from when I met her, in Rome.
Almost one year ago, I gave her a ring with a diamond on it.
Now, just ashes and an atypical friend. all this, worth the tears, the pain, the problems, sickness? I can’t really answer to this question yet.
Incredible how to look at your calendar in outlook make you think all this shit in less than a second.
